The night is dark but streets are darker
they're paved with murder and crime (crime is a murder)
The city's ER's can barely keep up as the numbers of victimized climb
One doctor can't even recall how many bullet wounds he's mended
(Just kidding, one-hundred and six)
He drops his gauze, clenches his scalpal, someone's gotta go on the offensive and so
He takes to the streets at night and he becomes Dr. Justice!
Crime goes into remission when they hear about Dr. Justice
enjoy your sins
Cause tonight, oh tonight, the doctor is in!
He steals an ambulance and renames it the Dr. Justice-mobile
(Clunky name, we'll work on it)
And when the good citizens hear of his deed their approval will be sealed
He prescribes himself anabaolic steroids so he'll grow big and strong
(Just like all your heroes)
Defibrillators do not work exactly like tasers, he's getting background checked to buy a gun! And in...
Seven to ten business days he'll become Dr. Justice!
Crime ups the ante, so he'll up the vigilante and become Dr. Justice!
When your town tests positive for FUCK-STICKS
It's okay because the doctor is in, oh the doctor is in
(He's like penicillin for fuck-sticks) Whoo!!
*Whammin' guitar solo*
Doctor Justice is in a stand-off with the so-called "men of the law"
(Go fuck yourselves)
These pussies don't, even realize, he's already become a G-d
He snorts a steroid and makes them wait by doing 3,000 push-ups
(two-thousand one... two-thousand two)
He wipes the sweat off of his chest screams into the night
I'M HORNY FOR DEATH
He's riddled with Bullet-holes for the last time he's Dr. Justice
He was a beautiful Articuno, rest in peace Dr. Justice
He may be gone but his ideas last so
he'll never truly be in the past
When a bad guy attacks, to his chagrin
You'll kick'em in the balls and scream THE DOCTOR IS IN
Oooh the doctor is in
We can all be Dr. Justice's
You just have to do steroids and earn an accredited medical degree